The body is so amazing! From the multiple blinks of the eyes to ward off debris or irritants to the simple motion of the reflex when responding to a tap of the knee, the endless functions of our body are easily overlooked especially those who are abled bodied.
Well, December 29th, I realized once again the magnitude and magnificence of day to day mobility. When I arose that Wednesday morning, I noticed that I was a slight bit dizzy as I stumbled out of bed. I shook it off and slowly began my day. I felt different that day. I didn't feel myself but I chalked it up as one of those "off" days. The next day I woke up and seemingly felt ok. I began my day like normal, then all of a sudden,the dizziness hit in the worst way. I felt as if I was in a vortex. As I stumbled back and forth to my room, I was struck with fear. I was reaching out trying to grab anything that was not moving. Was this another mini stroke, I was having? I was becoming nauseated. I screamed out to my son, who was sleeping downstairs, to call my partner and tell her I needed to go to the hospital. I could not stand up or move on my own. My partner became my walking guide. Thoughts of times past ran through my head,when I knew that after the dizziness and nausea there would be a possible face droop. THIS CAN"T BE!.
My family rushed me to the hospital. Because of my health history, I was seen relatively quickly (for the Emergency room) which was like an hour and half after my arrival. With scared faces and some bits of humor interjected to soften the mood , we waited to hear what the Doctor had to say. The ER doctor requested a CAT scan. He asked a series of questions. He was still unsure that it wasn't a mini stroke , so he admitted me for an overnight stay so that I could be seen by the neurologist and have a MRI done. After all of that I was diagnosed with Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo; otherwise known as BPPV.
With a sigh relief, we exhaled. It wasn't a stroke. But Vertigo?? How?? Here is the lay person's explanation . BPPV is caused when the crystals in your cochlear are dislodged and floating. These crystals keep humans in balance! AMAZING!!! . . Who knew?? Like I said the body is amazing!
I have been dealing with this for almost a month now. I have good days and not so good days. I have my episodes where the dizziness lasts for a short period of time. This vertigo is here to stay.. so they say.
So, I decided to think about this whole incident metaphorically. Is my life out of balanced? Am I doing everything I need to keep balanced?
Admittedly, there are times when I am not as balanced as I want to be. Sometimes I let thoughts and ideas fester thus creating an imbalance. Here is what I know and hopefully you will think about this when you have a sickness
1. Look at every experience as a growth tool.
2. Find your balance in the midst of challenging times ( my balance has been meditation)
3. Be ok with leaning on someone to hold you up. You don't have to be the strong one all the time.
4. Ground yourself in what matters most.
I want those crystals back in their proper place! I want the dizziness to go away!
Until then, I will focus on the here and now, have a heart of gratitude for the simple act of steady movement, and keep myself grounded everyday.